I feel all of this. I have known all my life I do not want children. Yet society has wrecked havoc with my brain ad I endured several years of hell when an ex MIL begged me to have children (I wrote about it here on medium if you are interested).
Opting to be childfree is a valid and worthy lifestyle. Having children to keep up with friends will only cause resentment.
I'm sure you have devoured many articles and books on the matter. But please please, try not to allow our pronatalist society influence you. You must do what is right for you.
For some people, that is having children, for others it is not having children.
Thanks for writing this piece!