My brain is down a rabbit hole, help me decide if I can call myself strong — When did you last hear a man described as “strong”? And no, the bodybuilding context does not count. The more I read and write about feminism, the deeper my brain dives. I have recently found myself in a new stage of awareness. …

Learn to listen to your gut instincts and tune in to your spidey senses — The whole situation is futile. But I have to try. I continue giving CPR, desperate to hear her breathe. Willing her to come around. I try frantically to save her, but I fail. The paramedic signals for me to stop. “She’s gone” Looking at the giggling 3-year-old, I wilt. Her…

#3 “Cheer up, it’s only a dog” — Have you loved and lost a dog? How did you feel? Maybe you haven’t lost a dog yourself. But I suspect everyone reading this, will know of several people who have endured the heartbreak that comes with the death of our dogs. Here’s the thing. My deep despair and crippling…

Talking about the dead helps weave them into our present and future, and keeps their memory alive — The memory of this conversation visits me several times a year. Until recently, I was never sure why. I can still recall how her words made me prickle. I didn’t challenge her or try to educate her at the time. I didn’t have the vocabulary, maturity, or insight. In my…

We can all learn to become effective conversationalists — I couldn’t help overhearing them. It wasn’t what they were saying I found captivating, more how they were responding to each other. Or, rather — how they weren’t responding to each other. The first lady described a horrific-sounding, fatal, vehicle collision. Her granddaughter knew one of the deceased. This lady…

Don’t let your labels clip your wings — “Too often we are boxed in by expectations, by the sense that we have a specific role or function to fulfill. Often in families, children are given a label, the “responsible” child, the “jokester”, the “rebel”. When we give children a name, they play the game”. Dr. …

Imaginative ways to ask how someone is, and connect on a deeper level — Three little words, which appear thoughtful. Yet they create stagnation in conversation. I sometimes find myself acting like a petulant teenager, and replying to well-intentioned messages of “how are you?” with a “fine”. The “How Are You?” Stagnation We are over a year into a global pandemic. All our lives are higgledy-piggledy. It is difficult…

Learn to be a romantic friend and feel your relationships flourish — It was friendship at first sight. Lisa is warm and funny, with an infectious laugh. Our shared passion for dogs brought us together. Our enjoyment of each other’s company and putting the world to rights has kept us together. Over the years life pulls us in different directions. …

Learn how to seize control of your own life, by eradicating blame. — I grew up as the cinderella of my household. My father operated a favoritism system and let’s just say this didn’t include me. Whilst he rolled out the red carpet for my twin sister and sometimes my other siblings. I was never good enough. For too long, I allowed this…

Today, I am inflating myself with one breath at a time — TW reference to suicide “No one likes you, here’s a bit of string, go and hang yourself, ha ha ha.” Children say the meanest of things. Normally we have some sort of refuge. But when the gut-wrenching comments come from your twin sister, there isn’t an escape. …

There is often a joy in missing out — She didn’t say anything. But her facial expression and eyes were screaming at me. I could hear her accusation, even though they were her internal thoughts. “You’ve changed!” When people say “you’ve changed,” it is often meant as a negative. You may well have changed or you are in the…

Finally … —

An easy way to simplify your complex relationship with Facebook — Voila, with the tap of a button, my Facebook account deactivates before my very eyes. Panic tries to set in, but I stay calm. I think of Marie Kondo’s words. “If an item doesn’t spark joy when it is touched, thank it for being part of your life and either…

The healthy side-effect of COVID19 on our friendships — What is a friend? To me, a true friend is someone who celebrates our authentic selves. Who raises us up during times of hardship. Someone who jumps in the passenger seat, whooping and wailing, to support us on our adventures. A friend is someone we bear our soul to without…