Thanks for this piece Sandra. There are echoes of your coffee date experience with a relationship I am currently in.

For a few years I've been meeting a "friend" for a walk occassionally. But I now realise she doesn't actually ever want to talk about me or listen. I am showing up as her rescuer. It took my wedding to come and go and for her to show a complete lack of interest and not even ask about it to really drum it home.

I've stopped making an effort - initiating text messages - and low and behold she is now initiating these.

My question is - when you stopped your coffee dates, how did you let the other person down. I don't want to spend more time with this person. I'm done. How do I kindly but firmly move on?