This sounds so so tough. Sorry you went through such trauma in the early years, and glad hubby was able to take time off to be present with you emotionally and physically.

It's hard. It's so fucking hard. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is. I know there is joy and love, and amazing things that you also experience. But man it's so fucking hard. I have so much admiration and respect for all women who choose to become mothers, or try to become mothers. You are amazing!